nang tumanda-tanda na ako (oo inaamin kong matanda na ako..hehehe), twice, i did try na lambingin si mama, the first was i hugged her and my youngest sister asked her kung ano daw nangyayari sa 'kin...she answered back "baka nagse-second childhood", the second time naman was i leaned to her shoulder and she just shrugged me off. minsan ka lang maglambing e na-reject pa o napagkamalan ka pang nag-iisip bata and to think i took a chance on showing affection (kahit wala talaga sa nature ko ang mag-ganun) pero yun pala ang mangyayari kaya di na talaga siya naulit ever for fear of another rejection or people thinking things of you. hindi naman sa tamporurot, alam ko naman na ganun lang talaga si mama and kaya rin ako ganito, iba lang ang way namin nang pagpaparamdam na we care. i'd have that urges to hug the people i love and care for, my parents, my siblings, my friends, my bespren, etc. kaya lang when i'd come and plan on doing it..something in the back of my mind stops me from doing so kasi nga wala sa nature ko or dahil sa baka nga ma-reject lang ako..but it's really more of the latter, second na lang yung former. kahit na nagka-BF na ako, di rin ako pala-yakap..ewan ko ba.

through the course of my lifetime, i do believe i've received numerous hugs na rin from my parents, my grandparents, friends and siyempre BF...but only two hugs really stood out for me...yun bang kahit kelan e di ko malilimutan kasi the way they made me feel at the time i received them was enough for me to not forget those moments.

one was with claudette, my longtime close-and-dear-to-my-heart friend...kakatapos lang ng C.A.T.-1 Competition namin sa school noon nung 4th year high school kami and after learning na we only lost a couple of decimals sa over-all 1st place...napaiyak kami talaga sa lungkot at depression nang mga kaibigan ko na kasali sa tournament. pinaghirapan kasi talaga namin ang pagte-train para dun sa competition, tapos ganun lang ang mangyayari. i do believe claude was there to show support to us, alam ko di siya kasama sa model company, or i maybe wrong, ah well. basta nung nakita niya 'kong umiiyak, lumapit siya sa 'kin and offered a hug. for the first time in a long time, noon ko lang ulit na-realize ang sarap ng yakap ng isang taong nag-aalala/nagmamalasakit para sa'yo. na-wash away lahat ng bigat ng loob ko with just one hug...parang magic na di mo maintindihan. i dunno how long i hugged her pero that hug really felt great.

the other one was rather unexpected...a hug from my younger cousin, Dav-dav...50th birthday naman ni papa that day (aug. 14 2006) and since it was supposed to be a surprise celebration, lahat ng preparations e tago sa kanya. kaya nga mas nakakatorete kasi laging around si papa at the time. i can't begin to describe yung stress and pagod na i've been through the past couple days prior and during his birthday. lalo na siyempre nung birthday niya mismo, i was on the verge of breaking down kasi una, yung pinaghirapan kong slideshow for days hindi na-read nung gamit kong laptop i had to redo it all over, pangalawa, yung reception super magulo pa at andami pang kelangan asikasuhin, pangatlo, utos dito...utos diyan ang drama ko, i was running back and forth the whole day running errands. understandable rin naman kasi ako lang talaga sa family namin ang present dun kaya kahit si ate aileen ang punong abala ako naman ang assistant [e.g. utusan]. nakakalahati pa lang ang araw parang ayoko na, kasi di ko pa nga maayos yung slideshow e di ko pa mapagana yung hiniram naming projector...hay, dami sakit ng ulo :( tapos taas-baba rin ako sa 22nd floor (kung saan yung condo ng tita ko) at 7th floor (kung saan naman ang reception). then at the last time na umakyat ako sa condo ng tita ko to fetch something...pagkabukas ko pa lang ng pinto, nakita ako agad ni Dav-dav and went running towards me with extended arms. all of a sudden, niyakap niya ako...of course maliit pa siya kaya abot lang niya e kalahati ng katawan ko. at that moment, i felt warm all over, lahat ng stress, frustration, inis, yamot, depression and that furious urge to break things e naglaho bigla. i didn't crack up pero for the first time nung araw na iyon, napangiti ako and someone caused it. and to make it even more surprising, suplado actually yung pinsan kong iyon at laging may mood swings...at isa pa di siya talaga magiliw sa 'kin...di rin kasi talaga ako marunong makisalamuha sa mga bata kaya ganun. even so, i still received that much-needed hug and from him at that much-needed stressful day...super tumaba ata puso ko noon at na-touch talaga ako sa gesture na iyon kahit siguro di niya iyon matatandaan or di siya conscious...i'll always remember that moment as one of the memorable ones in my entire life. :)

• make us feel better about ourselves and our surroundings
• have a positive effect in a child's development and IQ
• cause measurable physiological changes in the touchers and the touched

• feels good
• dispels loneliness
• overcomes fear
• opens doors to feelings
• builds self-esteem (WOW, SHE actually wants to hug me!)
• fosters altruism (I can't believe it but I actually want to hug that old son-of-a-gun)
• slows down aging (huggers stay young longer)
• helps curb appetite (we eat less when we are nourished by hugs and when our arms are busy wrapped around others)

• eases tension
• fights insomnia
• keeps arms and shoulder muscles in condition
• provides stretching exercise if you are short
• provides stooping exercise if you are tall
• offers a wholesome alternative to promiscuity
• offers a healthy, safe alternative to alcohol and other drug abuse (better hugs than drugs!)
• affirms physical being
• is democratic (anyone is eligible for a hug)

• is ecologically sound (it does not upset the environment)
• is energy-efficient (saves heat)
• is portable
• requires no special equipment
• demands no special setting (a fine place for a hug is any place from a doorstep to an executive conference room ... from a church parlor to a football field)
• makes happy days happier
• imparts feelings of belonging
• fills up empty places in our lives
• keeps on working to dispense benefits even after the hug is released

Reprinted from an article by Kathleen Keating entitled "Hug Therapy".

Rules For Hugging

1. Let your hug be pure, meaning simply, "I care for you."

2. A hug is neutral territory. By closing the space with your loved one, there is no room in that moment for disagreements or grudges--only acceptance, understanding and sympathy.

3. "To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven ... a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing" (from Ecclesiastes, or the Preacher 3). If you aren't sure if it's the right time for a hug, it's appropriate to ask.

4. A hug may only be given, not taken.

5. A request for a hug from your spouse should never be left ungranted.

6. Live in the moment of a hug. Don't let anything distract your attention.

Let our hugs be pure and our affection for our loved ones genuine.